


The Right Choice

by made2fallapart



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 18:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/made2fallapart/pseuds/made2fallapart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Edward proposes, Bella asks for time to think it over. Someone tells her that, when it comes down to it, you've got to either make the right choice for the wrong reasons or the wrong choice for the right reasons, but she wonders why she can't make the right choice for the right reasons. Question is, is Edward even her right choice?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fanfiction is being difficult for people who wish to keep a copy of my stories, so on the advice of another writer (I'm looking at you GeezerWench) I decided to start the process of posting some of them over here.

_Am I making the right decision?_ Bella thought morosely, staring down at the naked ring finger of her left hand – the same finger that would soon be holding an engagement ring if she said yes to Edward.

When he had presented her with the box yesterday, she had hesitated, the question, _Is this the right choice,_ standing out starkly in a sea of jumbled thoughts. The fact that it had been at the forefront of her mind – along with the hesitation – made her wonder if an eternity with Edward was what she truly wanted.

Up until this point, she had thought so.

She was certain that, from the moment she had first met him, she was destined to be his and he hers. It would certainly explain why she'd put up with as much as she had – neglecting her friends, her family, her mental well being, hell, her entire safety – just to be with him.

So why the hesitation? Why had she looked at that box and felt the walls close in around her, overwhelmed with such a powerful feeling of panic that she was relieved Jasper wasn't around to feel it?

She dropped her limp hand and turned her gaze towards the school books scattered over the scuffed surface of her desk. She had never been the type to doodle romantic nonsense – thinking that the girls that decorated their margins with flowy _'such and such 4eva!'_ were a sad breed – but if you grabbed one of those notebooks at random, she was ashamed to admit that you'd probably find a stray heart with **Bella & Edward** scribbled within.

She grimaced, almost embarrassed at the sudden 180 she had made in the space of a little over a year. Not that she was necessarily a cynic beforehand when it came to love, but going from loathing the type of girl who lost themselves completely in a guy – who let a relationship define them – to becoming one? Where had it all gone wrong?

Bella had attempted to justify the changes in the beginning, telling herself that she was in love for the first time... or at least she thought she was.

Everything had started and progressed so quickly, that it was beginning to dawn on her that she had never really sat down and asked herself if this is what she truly wanted. Her. Bella. The girl she'd been before, not the dazzled girl that was mesmerized when she first met Edward. The girl who actually used to look forward to waking up in the morning, the same one who enjoyed nothing more than to get lost in a book for an afternoon. Not the pensive one that hadn't picked up a book in months and was gripped with panic attacks daily, wondering if Edward was going to change his mind and leave again.

She couldn't even remember the last time she had gotten a decent sleep.

"Give me some time to think about it," she had told him before he had even had a chance to snap open the small velvet box, worried that the mere sight of the ring lying within – tangible proof that this really was happening – would cause her to cause to cave and say yes without nary a though. Like she usually did when Edward was involved.

And she couldn't do that. Not with doubt lingering in her heart. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.

Renee had told her once that she had agreed to marry Charlie even though she was having second thoughts right up to the minute they'd exchanged their 'I do's'... and look how that had turned out. Now they could barely stand to be in the same room together, their interactions teetering the line between forced civility and open hostility.

If there was any truth to the belief that they children were doomed to repeat their parent's mistakes – the apple didn't fall very far from the tree after all – than that didn't bode well for her future. Imagine an eternity of simply putting up with one another for the sake of propriety.

She frowned. Assuming Edward would ever get over his adamant refusal to change her.

Which brought to mind the vow: 'Til death do us part.

In his desire to keep her human, would he really be content in watching her grow old and die while he and his family stayed young and beautiful? Would he really be willing to put up with the stares and whispers if they went out in public holding hands when she could easily pass for his grandmother?

_He'd be used to that by now anyways,_ she thought darkly. All the stares he and his family got on a regular basis...how could he not?

But would _she_ be okay with that?

Tears prickled her eyes when she realized that he had never bothered asking her that. In fact, it seemed like he rarely asked for her opinion, instead making what he considered the best choice for her. Time and time again.

She laughed bitterly and swiped at her face. Why had it taken a proposal to rip the blinders off and shine a light on their obviously dysfunctional relationship?

Edward's reaction hadn't exactly been encouraging either. His beautiful face had remained placid, his shoulders tensing only slightly before he sighed and nodded, placing the ring back in his pocket.

_Was he asking because he really wanted too?_ She had wondered at the time. _Or because he felt like he had too?_

"It'll still be here when you decide," he replied in a poor attempt at casual humor.

Not: "Why?"

Not: "Do you want to talk about this?"

Not: "Is everything all right?"

She could tell by the sound of his voice that he fully expected her to say yes. It was the same tone he'd used when he assured her that she'd be better off without him before he left. The same tone that made her want to scream just like she had then.

Bella had never been more grateful that he couldn't read her thoughts because, even as she accepted the kiss he bestowed on her lips, a part of her had never hated him more.

"I need to go home," she blurted the second he had pulled back.

From the frown on his face, she realized he expected her to stay and continue with their plans (to watch a movie) and almost exploded and screamed, "Seriously?!" in his stupid sanctimonious face. After putting the brakes on his marriage proposal, he really expected her to sit and watch some stilted period piece that she could barely even pretend to enjoy on her good days?

Though not able to read her mind, he must have seen something on her face, because he nodded and graciously offered her a ride home. Glad that she had enough foresight to drive here (and even if she didn't, at this point she'd sooner walk home than suffer through ten minutes of awkward silence) she shook her head in the negative and began to gather her things.

Upon walking downstairs, she wryly noted that she hadn't been the only one to hear the proposal. The Cullen's were gathered in the living room, doing a poor job of looking interested in whatever program was on the television, and alternately shooting her quick glances, shades of disappointment in most of their eyes.

There was frustration mixed in with Alice's disappointment – probably angry that her dream of immediately dragging Bella to the nearest Bridal boutique to pick out a dress had been denied – along with the barest hints of befuddlement, like she couldn't believe that Bella had said no.

Bella wondered if she saw something. She'd never ask though. This was one decision she wanted full control over, without any outside interference.

Emmett alternated between disappointment and understanding, as if his hopes that she'd finally be his little sister now lay shattered at his feet.

_I'll always be your little sis,_ she promised him silently, even if a part of her was unsure if it would happen now that she was second guessing her relationship with Edward – something that, at times, she felt was her only real tie to this family.

Thinly veiled curiosity (but shockingly not surprise) glinted in Jasper's hooded gaze. She swore she saw him nod minutely, as if he approved of her decision to rebuff Edward for the time being. Rose, as usual, seemed indifferent to Bella's plight.

It was Esme and Carlisle's gaze that had been the hardest to meet; the raw heartache (strangely more tangible than Edward) caused her to avert her eyes. As much as she loved them, she couldn't say yes to Edward just to be a part of the family she'd always wished she'd had.

She mumbled a hasty goodbye and did her best to leave the house without looking like she was running away.

Even if she was.

She'd figured she'd earned the right to be the one who walked away this time.

And now here she was. At home, sitting cross-legged on her bed and no closer to an answer than she had been five hours ago.

She had attempted to write up a pro/con list, but when she had put a question mark next to the, _'I love him',_ in the PRO list, she began to realize that maybe their problems ran a little deeper than she originally thought. If she couldn't say that with confidence, what did it say about their relationship? She knew people married without love all the time, but she refused to be one of them.

Now the tattered remains of the ripped up list lay scattered around her like confetti.

She knew she wouldn't be able to put him off for very long – for someone who had nothing but time on his hands, he was surprisingly impatient – but she was determined to give herself at least a week to really think things over. She shifted her head to gaze at the calendar tacked on her wall. It was Sunday now, so that gave her six days... six days to decide a lifetime.

_No pressure or anything,_ she thought with an eye roll.

In a brief moment of hysterical madness, she considered breaking her ring finger in order to have a viable excuse to postpone the date even further.

_That should be my answer right there,_ she thought with grim amusement. _The fact that I'm willing to commit bodily harm to myself just to say no to Edward should be enough proof that I'm not ready to marry him..._ She could still feel the lingering unease left over from his proposal. _And maybe... maybe I might never be._

Her eyes were drawn to the bed and she picked up one of the torn pieces of paper. Flipping it over, she could make out the words, _I love him._ The question mark had been ripped off. She traced the loops of her words with a fingernail, focusing her attention on one word specifically.

Love.

First love.

"You never forget your first love," her mother had sighed wistfully one night. Even she could reminisce fondly about the man that had come years before Charlie, regardless of the fact that in the same breath she admitted that he turned out to be a bit of a sleaze, stealing money from her and running off with her best friend in the process.

So was that what this was? The allure of the first love – the _dazzle_ of it?

Edward himself had confessed that vampires were designed to lure humans it – to incite awe and desire – so would she still be drawn to him if she were no longer human? Would she still be obsessed with him?

Obsessed.

That wasn't normally a word she'd apply to her and Edward's relationship, but she'd overheard Charlie use it during her dark period. The word had been haunting her since.

Perhaps he was right. Her whole world revolved around Edward from he minute she'd bumped into him in the cafeteria and questions like, _'what do I want to do?'_ and _'what do I think?'_ were swiftly replaced with, _'what would **Edward** like me to do?'_ and _'what would **Edward** think?'_

Even worse, she _had_ contemplated killing herself – had tried to kill herself – over a guy. A girl at her old school had done that years ago and she had been baffled and strangely angry. Though she only knew her in passing, she couldn't comprehend why a teenage girl, with her whole life ahead of her, would snuff out her life because her boyfriend told her he didn't want to be with her anymore.

That's all it took. A simple, "I want to break up," had lead to a pill bottle in one hand and a hastily written suicide note in the other, which, according to gossip, mirrored exactly what was written on the scrap in her hand.

_I love him._

_I came so close to becoming her._ She shuddered and dropped the small slip of paper, raising her hands to rub at the sudden dirty feeling that crawled up her arms. Could she marry someone who had brought her that close to the edge – literally? Could she trust him not to break her as easily as he'd done in the past?

She leaned back on the bed and turned her eyes skyward.

She'd never been the praying type, but she could admit that she was in desperate need of some guidance. She really had no one to talk to outside of the Cullen's. During those dark months, she had pretty much burned bridges with the few friends she had made at Forks High and, although they eventually forgave her, they still kept her at an emotional distance. The one real friend she still had, Jake, was a lost cause as well. Thanks to his vehement dislike of Edward, it wasn't hard to guess what his answer would be (a firm and resounding, 'don't do it') and, while her and Charlie were definitely a lot closer than they'd been in years previous, she didn't exactly feel like they were to the point where she could share such intimate details.

Knowing that, she poured her heart out to the ceiling, keeping her one sided conversation strictly mental so she didn't wake Charlie up and make him wonder why she was talking to herself.

When she finally finished, she felt a little lighter – glad that she had finally got her thoughts out in the open (even if it was to the ceiling) – and a little silly at the same time.

_What was I expecting exactly? A voice to boom, "Don't marry him, Bella!"?_

She chuckled wryly when a part of her admitted that yeah, she kind of was hoping it'd be that easy.

_So what now?_ she wondered as her exhaustion made itself known. Fluttering her eyes closed, she ignored the uncomfortable sensation of her jeans chaffing against her legs as she twisted onto her side and allowed sleep to pull her under. Her last conscious thought was that, come the end of the week, hopefully all her questions would be answered.


	2. I Let Him Rule My World

"Mother?"

Bella blinked at the child-like, but reserved tone of the single word and slowly turned towards the one who'd spoke it.

Her eyes alighted upon a small girl, no more than seven with long, dark brown hair, similarly colored brown eyes and a solemn look on her petite facial features. She was adorned in a light blue dress with honest to god ruffles on the sleeves and bottom hem, white tights and shiny black Mary Jane's on her feet. The similarities to a living doll should have made Bella amused, but the sight unsettled her instead.

"Yes?" she asked, blinking again when the word the strange child had spoken earlier, mother, finally registered.

Now that she looked, she realized the small girl did slightly resemble how she had looked as a child – minus the pony tail, grass stained jeans and dirt smudges on her cheeks – but the delicate structure to her face brought to mind someone else. Someone very familiar.

"Father was wondering if you were ready yet."

Bella blanched, _Father?_ and dropped her eyes to her hand where it encountered a set of rings– one of which looked like it had enough diamonds encrusted on it to feed a third world country. _I'm married. I'm married and this is my daughter._

"Tell him I'll be there in a minute," she croaked, unable to tear her eyes away from the ring.

"Very well," the little girl replied and Bella frowned at the formality in her voice.

_She talks exactly like –_ Her thoughts were waylaid when a small sliver of sun peeked through the curtain of the window seat she sat on and caught her hand, causing it to burst into a kaleidoscope of sparkles. _I'm a vampire,_ she realized. How was that possible? How could she have a child – a human child if the sound of her heartbeat had been anything to go by (belatedly realizing that, indeed, she had heart the girl's heart beating).

Finally looking around the room, she noted that she was in a fashionable but rather drab looking bedroom and immediately zeroed in on an antique vanity pushed up to the side.

_Strange,_ she thought as she rushed over to it, _I never took myself as a vanity person._

Her eyes soaked up her venom hardened features, tracing her high cheekbones in disbelief at how different she looked. It was like she had gotten plastic surgery from the most talented doctor in the world. All her features were either heightened or thinned and her skin was smooth enough to rival silk. Plump ruby lips stood out in contrast to the paleness of her skin. Her hair was thicker and she guessed longer by the weight of it on her head from the fancy chignon it had been styled into – the subtle burgundy highlights that were threaded throughout had deepened, darkening her hair into a color that resembled a fine Merlot.

She frowned as she caught the rest of herself in the mirror, her form draped in a prim dress – the same shade of pale blue as the girl – and an honest to god string of pearls clasped around her neck.

_I look like a Stepford Wife,_ she panicked, her fingers flexing with the violent rage to rip the bland outfit off. _Did Alice dress me?_

"We're going to be late," a male's voice chided behind her.

Bella didn't have to turn around to see who it belonged too – who her husband was – she'd know that voice anywhere.

"You look lovely," Edward murmured, coming up behind her and dropping a kiss on her neck. Bella's nose wrinkled lightly. Not only at the fact that he was complementing this hideous dress, but at the scent that suddenly assailed her nose.

She had always thought Edward smelt sweet, like candy, when she was human, but now that her senses were heightened, it was almost an overpowering sickly sweet smell, akin to the maple-syrupy scent of antifreeze.

"I always ask myself if turning you was the right decision after you had Elizabeth, but I can't deny you make a beautiful vampire."

Bella stiffened. There were so many questions in that sentence; she didn't know where to start. "Why did you then?" she decided, trying to keep her voice casual and lightly teasing.

He shrugged. "You know why. You were dying and it was the right thing to do."

_I was dying?_ She wanted to gasp. _How... what... when?_

"Though I love the daughter you gave me, I can't help but wonder how it would have been different if she hadn't been born. I never wanted this life for you," he said gently, as if she'd be grateful for the consideration.

_Having a child hurt me,_ she realized with sudden clarity, _killed me and Edward was forced to change me._ Not because he wanted too, but because he _had_ too.

She had never given children much thought – even less after realizing what Edward was – but had she known that she could have given him a child back when she was desperately in love with him, she would have been thrilled. Now all she felt was cheated.

"But, what's done is done," he sighed, shooting her a charming smile in the mirror – the same one that used to make her weak in the knees – and checked the watch on his wrist. "And if we don't leave soon, we'll be late for the opera."

_Opera?! **Opera?!**_

She loathed the opera. Edward had dragged her to one once and she had been bored out of her skull. He had been miffed when she reluctantly admitted this to him, but agreed to never force her to go to one again.

_What has he done to me? The clothes, the bland room, the opera? It's like he's molded me into the perfect housewife._

"I'm almost ready," she whispered dully, venom prickling her eyes. "I'll be right down." She hesitated briefly. "Could you please send Elizabeth up? I'd like to talk to her for a minute." Surely there had to be some redeeming quality to this relationship – something that gave her a reason to stay.

Edward nodded and swept out of the room. Bella used the brief reprieve to gaze at the beige walls and tops of the furniture. No pictures decorated any surface, save for a few paintings that screamed of a high price. The room was practically sterile – even the bed was made with military precision.

_Do I see anyone anymore?_ she wondered. _My parents? Friends? The Cullen's?_ She spotted a small silver cell phone on the vanity and lunged for it. The screen came to life as soon as she touched it and she immediately opened her messages.

It seemed she was still in contact with the Cullen's – even Rose had sent her a text or two about Elizabeth coming to visit (and from the briskness of the texts, she had a feeling it was just Elizabeth as well.)

_Guess being a real part of the family hasn't brought as any closer,_ she snorted as she continued to scroll through her old texts.

It appeared that the Cullen's were the only ones she had texted in the last few days. Suspicious, she immediately clicked over to her list of contacts. Angry venom burned her eyes when she saw that there were no contacts for her mother, father or Jacob and strangely none for Jasper as well.

_I suppose you reach Alice, you get 'em both,_ she thought distantly as she sat her phone back down.

She knew for certain she was cut off – that all she had in life now was the Cullen's – something she may have been able to be content with in the past, but not now. Not like this.

_It's happened. I thought I was nothing without Edward and now I am. I considered him my whole world and now he is._ Her fists clenched. _And I hate him for it._

"You wanted me mother?" her daughter asked from the doorway.

She swung around, her eyes shining. "Beth," she whispered, deciding it sounded right to shorten her name like her own moniker.

Elizabeth's face crinkled in a frown. "It's Elizabeth," she corrected primly. "You know I don't like nicknames, mother."

Bella nodded, hurt but still hopeful, and beckoned her to step into her arms. Her heart softened when Elizabeth conceded and allowed her to pull her into a hug – albeit a brief one. Her daughter had given her a cursory pat on the waist – the same an acquaintance would give a casual friend – and stepped back, immediately smoothing one dainty hand over her frock.

"You know father worries about your control," Elizabeth chastised matter-of-factly.

Bella's face fell. _He really thinks I would hurt my own flesh and blood?_ "I'd never hurt you, sweetie," Bella gasped brokenly, pained when the placid look on Elizabeth's face didn't change. One more try. "Maybe we can do something together when we get home," she said hopefully. "Just you and me."

"I have piano lessons with father every night at eight, you know that," Elizabeth replied with a slight puckering of her lips – the same reaction Edward would give whenever he was scolding her.

Elizabeth pirouetted gracefully on her heel when Edward called both of their names from down the hall, but Bella remained frozen in place, tears of pain and frustration welling up in her topaz eyes. She turned back to the mirror and gazed morosely at her reflection as Edward called her name again, impatience coloring his voice.

_This is my life,_ she thought grimly, reaching down and removing a matching beaded shawl from the back of her chair. _My puppeteer husband, a distant child..._

Eternity never looked so bleak.

-oo-

Bella jerked up in bed.

_What the hell was that?_ her mind demanded, her eyes darting uneasily around the room. The wild thumping of her heart began to ease when she was met with green walls instead of grey, clothes on the floor and books crammed on a shelf. She was in her room. And, she raised a hand to her calming heart, most definitely still human.

Hesitantly she laid her head back against the pillow and tried to assemble the racing thoughts in her head enough to make sense of what had happened. Had she suddenly channeled Alice and gotten a glimpse of the future?

She chuckled uneasily.

_That's impossible... right?_

But it had felt so real. She remembers with clarity the smells that had clogged her nostrils – smells she wasn't even aware of as a human – the sensation of silk under her fingers, the lace of her daughters dress.

_My daughter..._

She raised a hand to her face and felt the dampness on her cheeks. She may not have been able to cry in the – whatever it was – but here, she had been able to do so freely, lending further proof to the pain she had felt. The very real pain.

Something crinkled in the hand that was still lying lax by her side and she flipped it over, the piece of paper lying innocently in her palm catching the barest traces of early morning sunlight that glinted in through her window.

Bringing the small slip of paper to her face, she could just make out the words written on it.

_Too controlling._

That had been on her list, in the **CON** section.

_Was it a warning?_ she wondered, flopping her hand back down and staring up at the ceiling. _Someone answering my question to what life with Edward would really be like should I say yes?_

She had an overwhelming urge to talk to Alice and ask her if this is what her visions were like – if she felt like she was really living them in such perfect detail. Or had her mind simply fabricated something to convince herself not to marry Edward?

That was the more plausible excuse, but somehow it felt incorrect – almost like she was stretching for an explanation that she already knew the answer to but refused to believe.

_So it was a vision,_ she decided for the time being, folding her hands over her stomach. _But what to do with it?_

The easiest answer would be to march over the Cullen's house right now and tell Edward to shove that ring up his sparkly ass, but a small part of her (the stubborn part that still foolishly thought Edward could do no wrong) reminded her that visions were subjective. At least, that's what Alice said. That even changing the smallest detail could make it veer off into a completely different path, perhaps one where Edward accepted all facets of her personality, changed her because he wanted too and she had a daughter that loved her.

_I wish I had more options,_ she mused, surprising herself with the seemingly wayward thought. _Not so much on what to do with Edward, but in the love department itself._

Edward had been her first everything and she really didn't have anything to compare him too. Nothing that really made her stop and ask herself, _Is this normal?_ or, _Is this what being in a relationship is really like?_ When he had left, she had tried to view Jacob in that light, but it had been difficult with a stupid vampire encroaching on her every thought. Maybe she should have tried harder. If not with Jake, than someone else at least.

_Is that what I want to do? Explore my options?_

She went over the list of guys she actually knew and associated with; ticking the names off on her fingers and laughed at how short it was.

She imagined branching out, diving back into the dating pool and cringed. There was a reason she hadn't dated before Edward – she was absolutely horrible at the whole flirting thing. She had kind of skipped that part with Edward. It had all happened so fast, going from that _'I'm a vampire'_ moment in the woods to _'I love you'_ mere weeks later.

_Maybe that was the problem,_ she considered contemplatively. _Maybe we should simply slow things down._

She nodded to herself and tentatively decided for the time being, the hold on accepting his ring would still stand.

In the back of her mind though, she knew that simply postponing it _still_ wasn't the right answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, you'll notice I didn't use Renesmee, but a bit of a facsimile (in terms of looks) of her instead. I have many reasons for this, the main being that I wanted to bypass the whole imprinting thing - I'm sorry, but it creeped me the funk out - and because I wished to create a different personality all together.
> 
> This chapter title (and all future titles) are from songs which I feel either directly (or indirectly) describe said chapter.
> 
> Chapter title from: PEARL by KATY PERRY.


	3. I Know I Just Gotta Let Him Go

Bella blinked groggily, giving her head a shake to clear the cobwebs from her mind. She was in bed, but the comforter felt different, heavier, surrounding her in the scent of freshly cut cedar.

_I know this scent,_ she realized, pushing the plaid fabric off her shoulders and sitting up. The bedroom she was in was smaller than her own, the large bed dominating most of the floor space, tidy yet at the same time messy, with an mixture of mismatched (and heavily scruffed) furniture.

_This place looks familiar,_ she thought, but with her mind still heavy with sleep, she was unable to make the connections.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and slid her feet into the slippers that rested on the carpeted floor.

Spotting a door, which she instinctively knew led to the bathroom, she shuffled over to it. Pushing it open, she flipped on the light, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to bright glare.

She didn't think it was possible, but she was more surprised at the visage that greeted her than she had been when she saw herself as a vampire.

She was older, she noted, touching the beginnings of crow's feet at the corner of her eyes, by almost twenty five years if she had to hazard a guess. The rest of her still pretty much looked the same, her hair was a few inches shorter, her body a little softer in certain places.

_I make a pretty good looking older woman,_ she decided with a grin as she fingered the beginning hint of silver at her temple. She caught a flash of gold in the small bathroom mirror and took a moment to study the simple ring on her finger, a small but standard diamond in the center of it. It was definitely less ostentatious than the ring Edward had given her and spoke of someone who didn't necessarily have the money to spend, but still made the effort to get her something nice.

Now to find out who had given it to her.

Going back to the bedroom, her eyes were drawn to a large picture frame propped up on the small dresser shoved in the corner.

Picking it up, she wasn't the least bit surprised to see herself in a wedding dress nor was she surprised by the beaming groom beside her.

Though her mind hadn't connected the pieces immediately, she had known the minute she'd opened her eyes whose room she was in. It hadn't changed much since the last time she had crashed here.

_Jake,_ she thought fondly, tracing a hand over his face. They must of gotten married young, She looked to be about twenty in the picture and Jacob, well, he looked the same as the last time she had seen him in the real world four days ago, but she assumed he had simply aged well and wasn't far behind her.

Her heart twinged when she realized that, because they obviously still lived on the reserve, it meant she probably didn't see the Cullen's very often – if at all. The portable phone beside the picture rang suddenly and for a brief moment, she hoped it would be one of them.

"Hello?" she greeted.

"Hey, Bells," her father's gruff voice answered. "I was wondering if you were still on for dinner Friday?"

"Um... of course?" she stuttered out.

"Great! Sue's already planning a feast."

Her brow furrowed. "Sue? Sue Clearwater?" she questioned, stunned.

There was a heavy pause on the other end. "Last I checked, she's been Sue Swan for the last 15 years." Another pause. "You feeling okay, Bells? I know things have been a little difficult with Jake lately –" Bella frowned. _They have?_ " –but I'm here to talk if you need it."

"Thanks, uh, dad, but I'm fine. Guess I haven't woken up completely yet."

He chuckled. "Sounds to me like you should go back to bed. See you Friday."

Bella stared down at the phone as the dial tone hummed in the background. Charlie married Sue? Her kids – one of which could barely stand her – were her step-siblings? She really shouldn't be shocked, she decided calmly as she finally disconnected the call. Charlie and Sue seemed to be dancing around an attraction in her reality as well. Though it was a little too soon after her husband's death, perhaps they were on a similar path.

She smiled, genuinely glad for Charlie and the proof that they seemed to have a closer relationship here. Speaking of relationship, that reminded her of what he'd said on the phone. Her and Jake were having problems? How? They seemed so happy in the picture.

Her ears picked up the creak of a door opening downstairs , followed by the sound of bare feet padding up the stairs. The bedroom door eased open and a shirtless figure quietly entered the room, pausing in surprise when he saw Bella staring at him.

"You're awake," Jake greeted with a small, uneasy smile. "Good."

This isn't possible. The man in front of her was definitely Jake, but he was exactly as she remembered him. _Should amend that man to boy,_ she thought, stunned as her knees gave out beneath her and she collapsed heavily onto the unmade bed.

He still looked seventeen, the russet features of his face unlined and untouched by time. _Does this have to do with his werewolf genes?_ she wondered wildly. She couldn't believe that the exact same thing she feared with Edward – growing old while he stayed young – was happening with Jake as well.

"You –" she managed to choke out, curling her fingers tightly into the bedspread beneath her.

He was immediately at her side, concern etched on his face. "Bella, are you alright?"

"Fine," she replied, forcing a smile. _As fine as a woman can be sitting beside her jailbait husband._ She pushed back the bark of hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble out.

"You know don't you?" he asked, solemn dark eyes searching her face.

"Know?" she repeated dimly.

He stood and began pacing the floor, the tattoo on his shoulder flexing as he ran a hand through his short black hair. "I didn't want you to find out this way. I tried so hard to fight it, Bella," he muttered brokenly. "But I couldn't."

He dropped to his knees and grabbed her hands. "I wanted so badly for it to be you and I thought that because I love you, so much," he stressed, "that it would happen in time. But when I didn't age and when I couldn't give you what you and I so desperately wanted, I couldn't ignore the truth."

"What I wanted?" she echoed mechanically, completely confused at where this was going.

"Children, Bella," he whispered. He laid his head against her knees. "I lied to you, Bells," he whimpered. "I told you that the wolf wouldn't let me age – and that was true – and I let you believe that it would be difficult for us to have children for the same reason. But the truth is," he exhaled shakily. "The truth is, that I can't give you children. Ever. I can only give my mate children."

"And I'm not your mate," she finished hollowly, knowing it wasn't a question. Her heart bled as she was once again denied true happiness. Once again denied real love.

"No," he whispered. "I had wanted you to be so badly, but..." he trailed off.

"But you've met her haven't you?" she guessed, knowing they wouldn't be having this conversation otherwise. Jake had been ridiculously loyal to her and knew he was the type of person who would stick it out with her, even knowing she wasn't his other half.

He nodded. "Yes. I imprinted yesterday on Eden, she just moved here last week. You remember she –"

She smiled wryly, cutting him off. "I'd rather not hear anymore. Not right now."

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, a tear trailing down his cheek.

"Jake," she murmured, brushing it away with her thumb. "You'll always be my friend," she swore, even as she felt tears well up in her own eyes. "Promise."

-oo-

Bella came awake slower this time, a twinge of wistfulness lingering as her dream faded.

It was nice knowing that she seemed to get twenty wonderful years with Jake – and she had absolutely no doubts that she had been happy with him – but disappointing at the same time, knowing it wouldn't last.

Had her look not been misinterpreted in the bedroom, she had the feeling that he wouldn't have said anything – content to stay with her because he loved her, even if his wolf half desired another. But she was glad it would never come to that. The falseness of it would have been just as bad as the actions she'd witnessed in her supposed future with Edward. And like she had grown to hate Edward, even in that short span of time, Jake would eventually grow to hate her as well.

She knew very little about imprinting – it was considered a bit of a taboo subject to anyone that wasn't part of (or associated) with the pack – but Jake had mentioned it offhandedly once, likening it to the equivalent of soul mates. There had been something in his eyes at the time, an emotion that hadn't registered until this very moment.

_Hope._

By saying it out loud, he'd been hoping that things would click between them. That she'd hear the word, forget about Edward and suddenly realize that they were meant to be together.

Shame flooded through her and tears prickled her eyes as she recalled the months that she had taken him for granted, using him as little more than a place holder until Edward had swept back into her life and she forgot all about him for a while. She had loved him – did love him – but not like that, even though near the end she had desperately tried to. Had, on some level, wanted to.

_I'm so sorry, Jake. I'm sorry I couldn't be that girl._

When she finally got her head straight about Edward, she would work on her and Jake's friendship next and make sure that the promise she had made to him in the dream would always hold true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: Huh... editing this chapter made me realize it sounds like I was rooting for Jake in the irritating triangle that comprised Twilight, but to be honest, I really didn't care for his character either. But I DID think he got a bit of a bum rap and Bella DID use him, so, I guess I kinda felt sorry for the poor guy. And no, being paired with Renesmee did NOT make up for all the BS she put him through, nor did it make a lick of sense... but whatevs.
> 
> Chapter title from: HELP ME GET OVER - JANALYN VIRAY
> 
> And hey, after reading this chapter (and all the others) if it brings to mind a certain song for you, I'd love to hear which one!


	4. She Stole My Future

The screech of a raven forced her eyes open and she winced slightly at the shaft of sunlight that was filtering through the leaves overhead and shining directly in her eyes. Raising her hand to block it out, she twisted her fingers as she admired the sparkly glow that her skin gave off.

_Vampire again,_ she thought amusedly.

She frowned when she caught sight of yet another ring, this time with a pale yellow diamond roughly the size of the Rock of Gibraltar. _Uggg,_ she thought wrinkling her nose with distaste.

She felt the faintest tinge of exasperation that it was once again a diamond. While most women would swoon over diamond rings, Bella – who wasn't normally a jewellery person anyways – had always leaned more towards the colors of emeralds and amethysts. She wondered if any of her so called husbands had even asked about her preferences.

Dropping her hand, she stepped to the side out of the sun and assessed her surroundings; a frown puckered her brows when she saw she was in the middle of the woods. Her eagle-eyes zeroed in on something off in the distance and through the leaves she could just make out the back of someone's house.

_Okay,_ she amended, _I'm in someone's backyard._

She began moving in the direction of the house, her mind so focused on sussing out exactly why she was in the woods in the first place, that she didn't immediately register the person approaching her from behind.

A large pair of arms settled around her waist. "Hey, babe," a voice rumbled in her ear.

"Emmett?!" she yelped, jerking out of his embrace and turning befuddled eyes to stare at him.

This had to be some sort of cosmic joke. Whoever was sending her these dreams had to be screwing with her this time. Sure, he was attractive –all of the Cullen's were – but from moment she had officially met him, it had been very clear that he had Rosalie's brand all over him. There was absolutely no plausible way this could happen.

His brows furrowed. "You okay, babe? You're not still worried are you? I told you I wouldn't let her hurt you again."

He pulled her stiff form into his arms and began roughly petting her hair. "Rose has just got to realize that I love you," he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips so he could place a smacking kiss on the silly ring on her finger. "Have since the moment I met you," he said with a large grin. "Just didn't realize it." He frowned darkly. "Rose said she understood. None of us could have imagined she would attack you over it. But she's gone now, Carlisle sent her packing ages ago."

Bella blinked owlishly. Not only was she married to Emmett, but it sounded like Rose wanted her dead. She couldn't even fully appreciate that she appeared to once again be a vampire, not now, when she had the strong suspicion that this supposed attack had been the catalyst for her change. She did feel her heart warm slightly that Emmett had (did) love her enough to change her, of that she had no doubt. Considering how quickly he'd been to vote yes to her being a vampire, she imagined it had been without the fuss as well.

Gratefulness aside, it didn't stop the slightly incestuous feeling she got at the thought of being in any kind of relationship with a guy that was the closest thing to a brother she had ever had. It was amplified when he began pressing sloppy kisses to her throat and shifting against her in a sensual manner.

Squirming away from him and putting as much distance between their bodies as she could without making his suspicious, she fibbed, "Sorry, this whole thing with Rose has got me a little unsettled."

She wasn't exactly sure when this _thing_ with Rose had taken place, but hoped that it was recent enough to back up her lie.

"I told you she's long gone, babe," he soothed. Bella was really getting irritated with the way he kept calling her that. "But I understand why it's still bothering you." He ran a hand through his closely cropped hair. "Wanna go back to the house? I'll let you pick the video game."

Bella shook her head. "I think I'm gonna stay here for a few."

He smiled good-naturedly. "If you want," he replied, walking over and angling his head for a kiss.

Bella shrugged mentally. _Why not?_ she decided, rising on her tiptoes to peck his lips. _Nope,_ still weird, she concluded, pulling away before he could attempt to deepen it.

She leaned back against the nearest tree when he disappeared, contemplating what life with Emmett would be like.

_Entertaining,_ she mused. _Lighthearted._

They'd probably laugh a lot together. But Bella knew that in the end, it wouldn't be enough. He was great to have fun with, but when she wanted a moment of quiet reflection or maybe thoughtful conversation, Emmett wasn't exactly her go to guy. He had too much energy to sit still. His mind wandered and he got bored easily and she knew eventually, he'd get bored with her as well. Or she'd get frustrated by his (often times) childish shenanigans. Whichever came first.

This thought wasn't bitter, but matter-of-fact instead.

_He –_

Whatever she was going to think next was cut off by a rustling sound to her immediate right, followed by the pounding of swift footsteps. Seconds later, it was like concrete had suddenly slammed into her.

Even with her superior strength, Bella found herself struggling to break free of the powerful grip that clamped around her throat. The grip tightened and Bella raised panicked eyes to meet the dark eyes of the female who held her – her clothes torn, her hair matted and her beautiful features twisted in a vindictive sneer.

"Rose," she choked out, clawing wildly at the tightening hand.

"Bella!" she spat, before leaning in close to his, "You took him from me, took my family from me, it's only fair that I take you away from them. An eye for an eye!" she cackled as her hand squeezed even tighter. She leaned in closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Or should I say a head."

-oo-

Bella jerked up, clawing at her throat as she gasped wildly for breath. She had literally felt Rose crushing her windpipe.

Flying out of bed, she staggered to the bathroom, concerned that when she looked in the mirror, Rose's hand would be imprinted on the skin of her throat. She let out a sigh of relief when she was greeted with unblemished skin - only slightly pink from where her own fingers had grabbed at it.

She slid to the floor and leaned against the tub. While she knew that Rose didn't like her – possibly even hated her – she didn't realize that she could be capable of something like... that. Thank god she had no romantic inclinations towards Emmett whatsoever and wondered if it would be in her best interest to find some way to subtlety bring that up to Rose the next time she saw her.

_"Hey Rose, nice shirt... By the way, I'm not attracted to Emmett in the slightest."_

Bella chuckled wryly and slowly got to her feet. Approaching the sink, she twisted the tap for the cold water and splashed a handful of it on her face. When she had wanted answers regarding her future with Edward, she had been expecting a simple yes or no answer. She frowned. She supposed she could technically consider her 'dream' a definite no, but this didn't explain why she was continuing to dream.

"Options," she groaned, slapping a hand over her face.

She hadn't quite meant it like that when she'd originally had the thought, but couldn't deny that she was growing more intrigued with each one. Though there was a lingering awkwardness around her potential husband du jour, she kind of felt a little like Goldilocks – like she was testing the men she knew and finding them 'not right.'

She raised her eyes to the mirror – eyes that were suddenly older thanks to the years she had lived in her dreams – and wondered who exactly would be deemed _just right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2:
> 
> Chapter title from: I'LL KILL HER - SOKO This one actually has more to do with Rose's actions as opposed to the relationship itself.


	5. Put Your Tiny Hand in Mine

She was right about it being awkward around Emmett.

At school, she couldn't even look him in the eyes without her cheeks blooming in color and he had taken great pleasure in teasing her about it. By lunch, Rose had grown suspicious and kept sending her warning glares from her side of the table, and with the remembrance of what her manicured nails felt like digging into the skin of her throat, Bella had faked a stomach ache and excused herself. She spent the next two periods pretending to rest in the nurse's office.

It probably wasn't the best idea to agree to accompany Edward back to his house at the end of the day. (If she'd know what would follow, she'd of milked that fake stomach ache for all it was worth.) Edward – who appeared to be growing weary with her delay – managed to corner her in the library and spent the next ten minutes prodding her inquisitively, but at the same time trying to make it look like he wasn't prodding her.

She was tempted to tell him he wasn't very good at coming off casual.

In the end, she managed to dissuade him with a demure smile, throwing a little eyelash flutter in for good measure – and didn't _that_ make her stomach _really_ turn – after promising him she was close to having an answer.

It wasn't any better when she went downstairs, not with Esme – and her gentle encouragement – in the kitchen and Carlisle – in the living room – with his continued assurance that she'd be welcomed in the family.

She felt like she was in some weird emotional version of Clue.

Alice was strangely silent for a change, looking contemplative every time Bella looked her way. Occasionally her eyes would flash with something else – humor, sadness, horror – and it must have been driving Jasper crazy because he kept asking her what was wrong. She finally waved him off and flounced from the room claiming that everything was fine, but not before shooting Bella one last, unreadable look.

After two torturous hours, Bella's nerves were fried and she finally decided she'd had enough and cut out early, almost eager to go home and go to bed.

Perhaps she wouldn't have been so eager if she knew what was coming.

-oo-

Bella was pleasantly surprised when she found herself in her favorite part of the Cullen's house – the library – a book propped open in her lap. Relief at being somewhere immediately recognizable for a change, she ignored the sight of the gray slacks – something she would only begrudgingly wear during special or sombre occasions – that encased her legs and settled back to read the book in her hands.

Though she was reading the words and following the story, for the life of her she had no idea what it was about. Sighing, she raised a hand to turn the page and froze when she caught sight of the slim golden ring, with three small diamonds set directly into the band, on her pale finger.

"Please no," she whimpered, certain that if she was human (the changes to her body where more noticeable now, even in her emotional turmoil), bile would be rising in her throat. She heard the sound of a heavy wooden door creak open behind her, followed by soft-soled footsteps and a faintly medicinal smell tickling her nose

_Please no,_ she begged again as a kiss was dropped on her silky mahogany locks.

"She would have wanted you to have it," Carlisle assured her, walking around to take a place beside her on the sofa.

Wide-eyed, Bella gaped at the man she considered her second father. If she thought the idea of being married to Emmett was bad, than this was worse.

Definitely worse.

_She would have wanted you to have it,_ echoed through her head as she tore her eyes away from his loving gaze and looked at the delicate ring – one that she's seen before on someone else's finger many times. It was the same ring that Carlisle had given Esme when they married and she knew if she slipped it off her finger, she'd see, Esme, my love eternal, engraved on the inside of the band.

It didn't take her long to put two and two together.

Esme was dead.

She was wearing his dead wife's ring.

As her soul wept at the loss of her mother figure, Bella fought the urge to rip it from her finger – uncaring if she ripped the appendage off in the process – and throw it at him

_Who the hell gives a woman their dead wife's ring?_ she thought incredulously. _And how could he even think of remarrying after Esme?_ she seethed. _Love eternal my ass._ Her eyes closed as she attempted to control her wildly fluctuating emotions. _Breath, Bella,_ she reminded herself. _This isn't real, this isn't really happening._

"Did she?" she managed, albeit belatedly as she repeated the mantra in her mind.

Carlisle didn't seem to notice, smiling fondly at her instead. "She really cared for you so much, considered you a daughter really. We both did."

_Don't say that!_ Bella mentally screamed, pushing down the dry heaves that tickled her throat.

"And even though she's no longer with us, I know she would have wanted us to be happy. Together," he murmured. "I can never thank you enough for caring for me after she –" he swallowed thickly. "I was so despondent, so lost. Slowly but surely you showed me it was okay to love again, that it was okay to be happy. I love you, my sweet," he cooed, leaning closer.

_No, no, no, no,_ Bella keened, leaning back into the couch as his face grew nearer and his eyes closed. _This can't possibly get any worse._

"Hey mom!" Emmett bellowed, barging though the door. "Can you give me a hand with something?"

-oo-

Bella crouched under the shower spray, the water as hot as she could physically stand it, desperately trying to wash away the icky feeling that dream had left her with.

Married to Carlisle? Emmett calling her mom?

That was almost worse than Rose popping her head off like a daisy.

She really didn't like the way these dreams were progressing. Sure, just yesterday she had considering them amusing, but with closer examination, she realized they seemed to be getting worse with each passing day. The novelty that was present not even twenty four hours earlier was slowly starting to wear off. At the rate she was going, she was certain one of these nights she was going to dream about being married to her own –

Her face contorted in disgust, unable to even finish the wayward thought.

She glared upwards. _I swear to god if whoever is behind this even thinks about doing that, I will pop caffeine pills and wash them down with energy drinks for the rest of my life, she warned. Heart attack be damned._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Chapter Title from: FATHER FIGURE - GEORGE MICHAEL Okay, I'll admit to being a bit of a cheeky little SOB with this particular song... but I laughed like a freaking hyena at the thought of using it for this chapter.


	6. Love's Given Up On Me

_This is certainly a change,_ Bella thought as she gazed disinterestedly out the window at the setting sun in the distance. _It's been day in all my other dreams._

She fingered the plain cotton tee that hung loosely off her softened frame, but didn't bother exploring the unfamiliar room she had appeared in minutes earlier. Considering the first thing she'd seen when she'd opened her eyes had been a trophy with a plaque that proudly boasted the name of who had won it, she had a pretty good idea of who she was married too.

And she wasn't happy about it.

Mike walked into the room, simultaneously pulling off the brown Newton's Olympic Outfitter's work vest he wore and chugging from the can of beer in his hand.

"Hey babe," his greeting trailing off into a belch as he scratched lazily at the white shirt stretched across the burgeoning beginnings of a beer gut. He began digging around in the pockets of his wrinkly dress pants, dropping their contents on the bedside table with a small thunk.

Bella drifted closer to get a better look at him, leaning back against a dresser. "Hey... honey," she returned amusedly as the light directly over his head glinted unflatteringly off the bald spot in his thinning blonde hair.

Mike – athlete, popular guy and all around golden boy – Newton had not aged well.

_I guess the movies were right,_ she thought as she watched him shuffle into the attached bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head and allowing her the barest glimpse of his pasty skin. _Former golden boys are just shadows of themselves, always trying to chase the dream._

She shifted her gaze around the room as she heard the shower kick in, (finally giving it the once over she'd denied earlier) eying the medals, trophies and certificates that decorated the various surfaces. It reminded her of Glenn, the bitter and very opinionated man who ran the small diner in town. He'd brag about his glory days as an all star quarterback in college with anyone that dared to make eye contact.

Her smile dimmed when she caught her reflection in the mirror attached to the dresser. _It seems that's not all he and Mr. Glenn have in common,_ she thought venomously as she traced the fading bruise around her eye with her fingertips. Charlie had been to his and his wife's house on more domestic dispute calls than she could count.

"You know I said I was sorry about that, baby," Mike reminded her from his sudden position behind her. She hadn't even heard the shower turning off. "I'd been drinking and things got out of hand." He shifted awkwardly, clasping tightly at the towel slung around his lower hips. "You know it'll never happen again."

_It shouldn't have happened in the first place,_ she thought angrily, scowling at the weary face in the mirror, her hardened features wearing a little too much makeup.

Poking at the lines in her face, she knew she was flirty with forty (thanks to the handy wall calendar), but she looked as if she was pushing fifty easy. Smacking her lips she could taste the faintest hint of nicotine in her mouth and caught sight of a pack of cigarettes balancing haphazardly on the edge of the dresser, a nearby ash tray stuffed to the brim with old butts.

She grimaced as she looked at them. Her maternal grandmother had died of cancer and smoking had been the one thing that Bella had promised herself she would never do.

She caught sight of a folded piece of paper, almost like a pamphlet, tucked underneath the ashtray. From this angle, she could just make out a picture at the center of the paper, half of a man's face if the mustache was anything to go by and what looked like a date underneath. Before she could examine it any further, she was shouldered out of the way when Mike approached the dresser and began to dig through the drawers.

"Do we have kids?" she asked out of the blue as he struggled to pull a pair of tight dark- wash jeans up his legs.

He groaned. "Not the kids thing again, Bella. You know now's not a good time." He began to angrily stuff himself into a pale pink button down shirt. "The old man still refuses to hand control of the store over to me even though he's pushing seventy. Not responsible my ass," he muttered bitterly. "And you just got laid off, which means that now I have to take on more hours to make up for the loss in income." She saw him scowl at her in the mirror. He finished buttoning his shirt. "Why the hell would you want to have a bunch of snot nosed brats any way?" he questioned incredulously as he tucked his shirt into the jeans.

"I don't," she sneered, matching the irritated tone in his voice. _Certainly not with you._

"Good. Now that that's settled..." The room was suddenly overcome with the overpowering stench of whatever cologne he'd just sprayed on. "I'm going out."

"You're going out? Where?"

"Bowling," he replied slowly, as if this was a regular thing.

She gave him a once over as best as she could through her watery eyes (that cologne was _really_ strong). "Funny, you don't look like you're dressed for bowling."

"Funny, you don't look like the fashion police," he mocked, brushing past her to enter the bathroom again.

As soon as he crossed the threshold, his phone chirruped loudly. Bella approached the small nightstand it was lying on and picked it up.

"Put that down," he warned as he stepped out of the bathroom, holding the toothbrush in his hand threateningly towards her.

"Why?" Bella questioned innocently. The phone chirruped again and she looked down at the message that popped up. _Sucker doesn't even lock his phone,_ she thought with a laugh. "You coming over tonight, babe?" she read off. "Can't wait to get my hands on you."

He darted towards her and snatched the phone out of her hands, but not before she caught sight of the name of the sender. "Jessica?" she laughed. "You're cheating on me with Jessica? Why am I not surprised."

"She's more of a woman than you'll ever be," he spat.

Bella laughed harder. "And now I feel like I'm on a soap opera."

Peeking a glance at Mike's tomato red face, she had a feeling he was tempted to hit her but was a little thrown at her reaction. In turn, she was tempted to tell him exactly why she was laughing – on why she could laugh at this situation – if only to see the look that would put on his face.

"It's not like you ever touch me anymore," he sputtered. "Too busy mooning after your precious Edward."

That stopped her laughter cold and he smirked victoriously.

"He's been gone for twenty years and you _still_ think he's gonna come back for you?" he taunted. "You're pathetic. You should of realized when he left the second time that he didn't want you. At least I was gracious enough to take care of his _leftovers._ "

Bella lunged forward, her hands raised and curled into claws as she went for his eyes, but he caught her arms and dug his fingers tightly into the fabric covering them before forcefully pushing the sleeves up. "Forget about these?" he hissed.

Bella dropped flabbergasted eyes to the faded but puckered scars that ran lengthwise up the pale skin of her wrists. "Wha...?" she whispered helplessly.

"They wanted to commit you after that," he murmured darkly. "I'm the one that convinced them not to, the one that took care of you. The only one who _loved_ you. Crazy little Bella," he whispered with mocking affection. "And now that you've worried Charlie into an early grave –" Bella's devastated eyes darted to the piece of paper on the dresser, a _memoriam_ her mind screamed, "– you don't have anyone. You _need me."_

She wrenched her hands out of his grip. "Actually, Mike," she spat through the lump in her throat, "come the morning, we won't even be married."

"Huh?"

-oo-

**BEEP BEEP BEEP ******

"Told you, you sonuvabitch" Bella gritted out as she slammed her hand down on snooze button. She was glad she'd taken the initiative to set it a little earlier than usual. Mike had hit on her again at school yesterday and she'd had the niggling suspicion that he'd be the featured player in last night's 'dream.'

Speaking of that... _abomination of a dream_...

She couldn't have ever imagined saying yes to Mike in the first place. He was considered an acquaintance more than anything. Was she really that desperate after Edward left... for the second time apparently? She jerked her hands up to her face and traced the unblemished skin of her wrists as bark of hysterical laughter passing her lips.

_Yeah, apparently I was._

A part of her had always wondered what would happen after if Edward ever left again.

"Guess I know now," she chuckled brokenly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Chapter title from: KEROSENE - MIRANDA LAMBERT


	7. You're Now A Slave

When she opened her eyes, she was immediately on edge. Her surroundings were unfamiliar as usual, but unlike the others (where she felt that she should at least know where she was and was slightly comforted by that) this place scared her. Oppression and misery hung thickly in the dank air.

The fabric beneath her palm was slippery – pure silk she wagered – as was whatever she was dressed in. She couldn't make out the exact color though. Even with her obviously vampirically enhanced eyesight, it was so dark in the room, thanks to the heavy curtains that hung over the windows, that she could see little more than then the basic outline of things in shades of gray.

Directly across from the bed on the other side of the cavernous room, she noticed that the curtains were gathered in such a way that indicated there were doors behind them. Possibly to a veranda or balcony.

Sliding from the bed, she hissed at the sensation of cold slabs of concrete beneath her feet – so chilled, that even she could feel the temperature difference – and tentatively made her way towards what she hoped were the doors.

Her unease grew as she took note of the walls which seemed to be made of the same concrete bricks as the floor. Had she not felt the silk beneath her fingers in the bed she'd been laying on, she would have thought she was in a prison.

_Perhaps I am,_ she mused as her hands dove beneath the fabric and curled around what were definitely door handles. They were resistant at first, until it became obvious they were locked. She put a little vampire strength behind her next series of tugs, almost ripping the door off its hinges as they finally yielded beneath her hands.

The bare skin up her entire arms immediately burst into sparkles under the late afternoon sun, but they looked different then the Cullen's had. The sheen harsher somehow.

Looking down she saw that the luxurious fabric that hugged her frame was a deep blood red, the color echoed on her nails and – she stuck one foot out from underneath the hem of her floor-length hem – her toenails as well. Both of them had obviously been professionally done, Bella had never failed to get polish all over her skin whenever she had a rare girly moment and attempted to use it in the past.

The color against her bone china skin would have been considered beautiful if not for the fact that, like her skin, it looked wrong. She shuddered. _Deadly._

She turned and scanned the cavernous room seeing the same splash of red riddled throughout – from the sheets to the curtains – and allowed herself to feel a small burst of amusement at the lack of originality. Situated on the wall to the right of the doors, there was a gilded floor length mirror that was practically whispering her name.

She resisted its call at first, a gnawing fear in her belly of what she would see, but steeled her resolve and began inching closer, steadily ignoring the growing trepidation with each measured step.

Her gown came into view first, the silky fabric swishing around her long legs, up to the deep v neck framing her breasts in an almost obscene manner, than up further where she was startled to see a ruby encrusted choker wrapped tightly around her neck. Finally she stepped close enough to see her face and promptly gurgled out a choked scream.

Her features were the same as they'd been from her Edward 'dream', but her eyes – my eyes – were twin flames of glowing red.

_Human drinker, human drinker, **HUMAN **drinker,****_ her mind babbled deliriously, unable to fully accept what she was seeing.

_Who,_ she wondered brokenly, desperately zeroing in on her ring finger.

It was bare.

Raising her – she swallowed thickly – _ruby gaze_ back to the mirror, she fingered the choker around her neck, her eyes misted with venom when she realized it wasn't a necklace at all.

It was a collar.

She was somebody's _pet._

The dim light from the door caught the faintest hint of silver in the largest ruby at the center and she leaned in close enough to make out the intricate V that was embedded into its surface.

_Where have I seen that V before?_

She started when her ears picked up the sound of a key turning in a lock before the bedroom door slammed open.

"My darling wife," a mocking and lightly accented voice called out. "Whatever are you up too?"

Her eyes were locked steadfastly on the mirror, as she watched the reflection of the man cross the room to the doors behind her.

"My pet," he tutted as he closed the doors. "What have I told you about opening these?"

Bella felt the venom freeze her veins when he glided up behind her and she was greeted by the cruelly smiling face of Aro, one of the three leaders of the Volturi. "Perhaps another lesson shall be in order, hmm?" he purred, the timbre of his voice making her insides twist with disgust. He trailed a spindly finger along Bella's bare shoulder. "Perhaps I'll ask Caius to lend a hand." He sighed. "The poor boy has been just begging for a chance."

Bella flinched at the knowledge that she was at the mercy of not one, but two vicious vampires.

"Come," he entreated, holding out his pale hand. Bella knew it wasn't a suggestion, and fearful of what he'd do if she refused, she turned and slid her hand into his. Forgetting that this was nothing more than a dream, she tensed as he wrapped his fingers tightly around her own, belatedly remembering this particular vampire's gift.

Would he see that at the moment she was not exactly the Bella he thought she was?

Whatever power had brought her here, seemed to shield her tumultuous thoughts, because he smiled, almost benignly, and said, "I do so love to experience your fear, my pet. The taste of it is almost as delicious as your blood was. Killing that pathetic boy and taking you as my own was the best decision I ever made. And the fact that I now have my own personal seer locked in my dungeon and completely at my disposal..." He pressed his thumb to three of his fingers and brought them to his lips, making an exaggerated kissing noise. "Icing on the cake."

Bella's knees almost collapsed out from under her, unsure of what she should mourn first – the death of Edward or the capture (and no doubt torture) of Alice.

She remembered how the original meeting with the Volturi had gone, initially (and she was beginning to realize quite foolishly) to scared for Edward to truly be frightened by them. If anything this particular vampire had amused her, thanks to the sing-song lilt to his words and overly flamboyant gestures when he spoke. If she'd only realized how differently it could have gone, she'd have probably pissed in her pants.

He chuckled and tightened his grip on her hand, enjoying whatever it was that he was seeing in her mind – or technically the mind of the Bella she now inhabited.

"Ah yes, such a glorious day. The first time I tasted your fear and became addicted." He trailed a spindly finger down her face, laughing darkly when she cringed away from it. "That's when I knew I had to have you for my own. But enough about that, we'll have time to reminisce later, now it's time to feed on someone else's fear."

-oo-

Bella rand blindly throughout the castle corridors. She knew that the bedroom she had come from earlier wasn't any safer, but it was familiar and right now any place was better than the room she had just run from.

After slamming the thick wooden doors behind her in a desperate attempt to block out the screams that echoed throughout the hall, she curled up in the farthest corner, vicious sobs rocking her frame.

_All those people..._ A wail quickly worked up her throat as her mind cycled through the faces of the oblivious tourists that had been led single file into... _that_ room. There had even been children. And the laughter as they fed... that had almost been worse than the screaming.

"Isabella," a voice sing-songed from the other side of the door. "Come out, come out!"

"I won't do it!" she screamed.

She heard him sigh, than the doors were banging inwards again. There was a brief sound of wooshing air before he was standing before her, a bored look on his face.

"You will," he corrected boredly.

"I'd rather die!" she hissed.

The bored look slid off his face, replace by a venomous sneer as his hand lashed out and struck her hard enough to crack open her cheek and send her sprawling to the ground.

"Always the hard way," he muttered exasperatedly. "Felix! Demetri!" he called.

Bella focused her flickering vision on the two sets of feet as they approached Aro's side, raising her head enough to watch one of them (she couldn't remember which was which) pass Aro a cylindrical container. She caught the scent of what was in it and began to scrabble away from them, unconsciously whining, "No, no, no," with each push of her feet.

"Hold her," Aro ordered and two vampires were immediately at her side, clamping on her arms hard enough to produce another metallic shriek. The one to her right roughly grabbed her hair and forced her head back.

"Shh..." Aro hushed, crouching in front of her and running a hand almost tenderly down her face. "You forget _la mia schiava_ ," he clamped a hand around her chin and pried her mouth open, "you are already dead."

-oo-

It was a scream that woke Bella this time, followed by forceful spitting as she tried to get the coppery taste of warm human blood out her mouth.

Stomach roiling, she jumped off the bed and staggered to the bathroom, placing her head over the toilet in just enough time to empty last night's late snack into it. Her eyes clamped shut and she flushed without looking, absolutely certain if she did, the inside of the bowl would be stained red.

Curling up against the wall, she shuddered, tears trailing down her cheeks. She was officially amending her statement on her dreams – they weren't trying to steer her away from Edward, but to him! They must be, it was the only explanation for why they got progressively worse. And it was becoming clear if she didn't accept his proposal, then one of these could very well come to pass.

The memories of her dreams flashed before her eyes.

A monotonous existence.

A husband in love with someone else.

Her own _final_ death.

A cheating husband and a dead father.

Esme, dead.

The plaything of a monster.

Through the Aro one was the least likely (considering the event that had technically triggered it had already come to pass) that didn't mean it couldn't still happen in some other way. Aro had simply said he killed Edward and imprisoned Alice, he didn't say how or when. She'd rather put up with an eternity of being a Stepford Wife, an eternity of monotony than that nightmare. Then any of those nightmares.

She could make it work... couldn't she?

_Yes,_ she decided resignedly, _I will make it work._

The only thing that stopped her from dashing to her phone and immediately getting a hold of Edward was the promise that she'd give herself a whole week of consideration before she gave him her answer and she was going to do that.

It was Saturday morning now (no school, thank god. She didn't know if she could even pretend to go through the motions after that dream.), but come tomorrow she was going to tell Edward yes, she would marry him.

That was, if she managed to survive tonight's nightmare with her sanity intact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> la mia schiava - my slave.
> 
> Chapter title from: NIGHTMARE - AVENGED SEVENFOLD
> 
> I considered this song and the Pearl song from the Edward dream to be the most powerful and incredibly fitting of all the chapters.


	8. Interlude: One Step Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is really about the dreams and since so much of this dialogue proved to be before the dream, I thought I'd keep it separate from the other part.

"You alright?" a hushed voice asked, startling her.

Bella blinked her tired eyes rapidly at the figure standing before her – easing when Jasper swam into focus. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone came looking for her, but was a little surprised at how long it actually took. Not ten minutes earlier, she'd heard the grandfather clock in the corner chime four times, which meant she'd been sitting in the same spot uninterrupted for almost two hours.

In the _library_ of all places.

She curled up even further into the chair, as far away from the couch that she'd been laying on in her dream as she could. As disturbed as she was by the flashbacks it had incited simply by looking at it, she considered this place her nirvana and refused to let a silly dream take that from her.

"I'm fine," she lied.

The truth was she was exhausted and skittish at hell. It was why she even left her house in the first place. It would have been easy to stay home and brood all by herself, but as tired as she was, she didn't trust herself not to crawl back into her bed and go right back to sleep.

Right back to _dreaming._

She was relieved when everyone seemed to be either gone or preoccupied today, paying little attention when Bella wandered in the door and right up the stairs, only sparing half a minute to even announce her presence. She liked to think she'd been given off a vibe, one that said, _'leave me alone.'_

He cocked his head and she knew that he knew she was lying. It should bother her that he could sense her emotions so easily (especially when Edward was unable to read her thoughts and Alice only got occasional glimpses of her future) but she knew it wasn't something he could simply shut off. Besides, despite the vibe she'd put out earlier, a part of her desperately wanted someone to talk to.

She was surprise and yet _not_ , that he'd been the one to finally ask her how she was.

"Just got a lot of stuff on my mind," she admitted.

"Edward?" he guessed, hesitantly settling into the antique wing back chair that was placed at an angle beside the matching one Bella had curled herself into.

"That obvious?"

He shrugged. "It's all the family has been talking about for the last few days."

"Great, my personal life has become gossip fodder."

"Not gossip. Speculation."

She groaned and dropped her head back. "What's the difference?" she asked, sliding her eyes shut. "I love you guys, I really do," she murmured, her closed eyes missing the expression that flashed across his face, "and I want to be a part of this family. I just don't want –" she trailed off helplessly.

"To say yes for the wrong reasons."

She opened her eyes and looked at him, surprised at how expertly he had hit it on the head.

He shifted self-consciously and bowed his head so that his wavy golden hair shielded his face. "We've all been there once or twice."

"You've said yes for the wrong reasons before?" she prodded curiously.

He nodded, "I have," but refused to elaborate.

"Did you come to regret it?"

She watched as he carefully considered his answer. "I suppose not," he replied slowly. "It all sort of worked itself out in the end."

_Sort of._

She found herself stuck on those two words. That was like settling for strawberry ice cream when you desperately wanted chocolate. Sure, it tastes good, but it's just not chocolate.

"Sometimes, when it comes down to it," he continued, "you gotta either make the right choice for the wrong reasons, or the wrong choice for the right reasons."

She wrung her hands together. "Why can't I make the _right _choice for the _right _reasons?"____

"Because it rarely works that way," he said softly.

She blinked. "Anyone ever tell you you're a bit of a downer?"

His lips quirked slightly. "Once or twice."

She chuckled, off-handily noticing how much a smile lit up his face – even a small one. She could count on one hand how often she had seen him smile and it was on the tip of her tongue to encourage him to do it more often.

"Just know that no matter what you choose, this family will still," his voice hushed on the next word, " _love_ you regardless."

Her heart stuttered as the L word passed his pale lips. "Even Rose?" she joked in an attempt to combat the rising blush to her face.

He smiled again. "She's coming around."

Bella wonders how he'd react if she told him she'd felt Rose rip her head off.

"Thanks," she said softly. "I think I really needed to hear that these last few days. From a neutral party that wasn't gung hoeing for me to say yes." She paused. "You're not are you? Gung hoeing me?"

"Pretty sure that's not a word," he teased before his features grew solemn. "Your choice should be whatever makes you happy. Not them."

Grateful tears misted her eyes and, if he weren't so uneasy with physical contact, she would have hugged him. Their friendship had been slow burning ever since they managed to get past the barrier her birthday had put between them and she wondered (not for the first time) why she'd taken so long to reach out to the soft spoken Cullen.

He was the only one who seemed to be able to have a conversation about topics she actually enjoyed – the others, bless their hearts, usually managed to turn any talks to their interests – and he always had a way of making her feel better, even when she was at her lowest.

_And it didn't even require his gift anymore,_ she thought with a small smile.

Suddenly she was terrified at the thought of having one of these... _nightmares_ about him, afraid that it would destroy the tenuous friendship that she was quickly beginning to treasure.

She saw the moment when he sensed her fear and flinched back, the hurt in his amber gaze making it all too clear that he thought she was afraid of him.

"No," she gasped, reaching for his arm. "That wasn't about you. I've just been having, well, nightmares," she admitted reluctantly, stopping short of touching his wrist before pulling back and tucking her hand into the sleeves of her sweater – a bit of a defense mechanism she's had ever since she'd been a child. Renee used to liken it to disappearing into her shell.

"About the proposal?" he asked.

"About..." she paused. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Please don't ask me to tell you," she begged when it looked like he was going to do just that.

"I could help," he suggested hesitantly. "If you stay in the guest bedroom, I could make you sleep deep enough so that you don't dream."

Bella found herself grinning slightly at the tempting offer, touched he had even made it. It certainly sounded better than her plan, instant coffee washed down with an energy drink.

"Thanks for the offer, but..." she trailed off, unable to tell him that she felt like she had to continue dreaming. Almost as if her life depended on it. She smiled at him and made sure that her appreciation was apparent in her emotions, she wanted him to know that she meant it.

He smiled back. "It's alright. Let me know if you change your mind, though. I could stand outside your window and –" he stopped and grimaced. "Okay, that definitely came out creepier than I was going for."

Bella tilted her head as a gentle smile spread across her lips. She was certain if he could, he'd be blushing up a storm right now. It was rather adorable. She couldn't help but chuckle softly as affection brimmed up within her. "You're adorable," she found herself blurting, before slapping a hand over her mouth and flushing a rosy red.

He smirked. "I could say the same about you," he teased.

"Shut up," she muttered.

Their eyes met, gold on brown, and the embarrassment eased as they both laughed. Still chuckling, Bella got to her feet and stretched lazily, grimacing as her muscles whined in protest after being in one position for so long.

"I should probably get going," she said softly, making her way across the room. She leaned one hand against the door and turned her head back towards Jasper. "Thanks again for," she gestured her hand between him and her, "this. I meant what I said, I really needed for someone to... just listen."

He smiled and Bella hid a frown when she saw that it didn't quite reach his eyes. "That's what family is for."

-oo-

Later that night as she snuggled under the covers, she ignored the soft vibrating sound of her cell-phone – too tired to even bother to get up and check the message – and thought over Jasper's advice.

She'd say yes.

That was the logical choice. The right choice for the right reasons.

So why did it feel like she was settling for strawberry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: For the record, and of no relevance whatsoever, I HATE strawberry ice cream. I would never settle for it. Even if I had to choose between that and nothing, I would gladly take nothing... HEY! Who you calling picky?


	9. Darling, Don't Be Afraid

She hummed lightly, in no hurry to open her eyes. Wherever she was, she was safe and – despite the lack of a heart beat – warm, the comforting scent of chocolate and peppermint surrounding her.

_Where have I smelt that before?_ she wondered with lazy contentment.

She felt a broad masculine chest at her back and an arm wound around her waist and she found herself shifting her hand from its position on the bed and lacing her fingers with his. He immediately copied the movement, flipping over his hand and giving hers a quick squeeze.

"Love you," she heard him whisper into her hair and elation bursting through her chest.

She heard a childish giggle from directly in front of her and cracked open an eyelid enough to see a head of Carmel colored curls peek around the partially open bedroom door, hazel eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Shh..." the little girl whispered as a second head pushed up under her arm – a boy this time of the same age – with similarly colored hazel eyes (leaning more towards brown as opposed to the girl who leaned more towards green) and a mop of thick, messy brown hair on his head.

She saw the little boy roll his eyes. "It's not like they're sleeping, silly."

"I know, but I've been practicing. Watch this." Her adorable features scrunched up in concentration and Bella had to struggle to keep her eyebrows from flying up to her hairline when the little girl grew misty and her scent and heartbeat almost disappeared. "I can even do you," she whispered as the boy faded out beside her.

They didn't completely disappear, Bella noted as they tiptoed closer. Instead they were hazy, almost like spectres (the only difference being that you couldn't see through them) and she imagined the girl wasn't quite strong enough yet vanish completely. She felt the man behind her smile into her neck, so she knew that it wasn't some random occurrence.

"GOTCHA!" the little girl yelped as she dropped whatever mojo she'd put on her and her brother and the two took a flying leap onto the bed – injecting a little vampire oomph into the action if she wasn't mistaken. She felt the man behind her shift before his arms shot out and snatched the girl, while Bella was bombarded with a warm wiggling bundle of her own.

She pulled him closer, happily inhaling the little boy's warm apple pie scent as she wrapped him in a gentle hug, which he was all too happy to return, snuggling into her embrace without a care in the world. Her eyes widened in wonder as the little boy pressed his cheek to hers and she heard his voice whisper, _"I love you mommy,"_ in her head.

_Both of them are gifted,_ she realized dazedly. _Both of my children are gifted_ , she corrected with a goofy smile.

"I got you, didn't I daddy?" an excited voice jabbered. "I got you and mommy good."

"Yes you did, Charley," he laughed. "Didn't even see you two coming, did we darlin'?"

Bella turned her head, both surprised and yet not at the man beside her. "We sure didn't, Jas," she murmured, her heart melting when he sent her the biggest, most genuine smile she had ever seen on his lips. His golden eyes were soft and glowing with love. Love for her and love for his – their – children.

My children, she thought amazedly as Jasper flipped Charley on her back and began tickling her. Her giggles filled the large room as her legs – clad in lime green and black stripped tights and a polka dot skirt – kicked wildly in the air. She squirmed on the bed, causing her bright blue Cookie Monster shirt (proudly emblazoned with: **Nom, Nom, Nom** ) to scrunch up and the cat ears head band she had on to slide off and land somewhere underneath the pillow. Looking at her clashing outfit, Bella decided she was the most perfect little girl ever.

"Jackson, help me!" she squealed and the little boy in her arms leapt into action, attaching himself to Jasper's back.

"I'm surrounded!" Jasper hollered in mock dismay, twisting them both until Jackson was at his front and Jasper was knocked back onto the bed.

"Daddy pile!" Charley squealed, flinging herself onto his lower waist. "C'mon mommy," she called.

Bella laughed and rose onto her hands and knees, crawling over towards the tangled pile. She yelped as Jasper pulled her down beside him and curled his arms around her. Reaching down he pulled Jackson and Charley up and enfolded all three of them in his embrace, a sigh of complete and utter contentment escaping his lips.

They stayed that way for a few long moments – the children just as happy to stay still and quiet as they were to jump around and yell.

The silence was broken by two little grumbling stomachs.

"Sounds like someone hasn't had their breakfast," Jasper scolded teasingly.

Charley's head rose and she stuck her lower lip out in a pout. "We wanted to say good morning first."

"And now that you have, I think you should get downstairs and eat." He tilted his head and sniffed the air. "Smell that?"

Jackson and Charley copied the action and their eyes lit up.

"Pancakes!" Charley clapped her hands. "Auntie Rose makes the best pancakes ever!" She patted her head. "Where's my cat ears mommy?"

Bella slid her hand under the pillow as Jasper sat Jackson on his feet and straightened up his jeans and mini band tee and placed them on Charley's head. Running a hand through Charley's silky curls, Bella's eyes were drawn to a glint of silver around her neck. She fingered the chunky letters that spelled out _Charlene_ on the small necklace and smiled softly.

It felt strangely appropriate that she'd named her little girl after her father. Somehow she knew that they were still close in this future, bound together by their love for these two little miracles.

"Thanks, mommy!" she said, leaning over to place smacking kiss on her lips before she leapt of the bed. "C'mon Jack!" she called as she ran to the door. "Uncle Emmy told us he'd take us exploring after breakfast and Uncle Edward and Aunt Selena promised to take us to a movie if we're good." She rushed back long enough to bestow a sloppy kiss on Jasper's cheek and, waiting for her brother to do the same, the two linked hands and raced out the door.

_Selena?_ Bella thought. _Could that possibly be Edward's wife?_ She was pleased when she didn't experience any trace of jealously at the thought – genuinely happy that he had found someone.

"They're wonderful," she whispered, flopping back down on the bed.

"They really are," Jasper agreed, propping himself up on his elbow beside her. "Thank you so much for giving them to me." He caressed her face. "I had never even imagined that it was even possible and almost losing you in the process..." He closed his eyes, his face contorting at the remembered pain. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you." He lowered his head to hers and, for the first time, she happily accepted his kiss. sinking into it as the incredible sensation of _rightness_ of his lips on hers, swirled through her mind.

Jasper broke the kiss with a purr and began placing teasing kissed all over her face until Bella began to laugh and squirm in his embrace.

"Uncle! Uncle!" she yelled.

"There is no mercy," he growled, gently nipping her nose.

Bracing her hands on his shoulders she pushed - executing a maneuver that even managed to surprise her - and promptly flipped him on his back.

"Ha!" she cheered, straddling his waist and keeping her hands pressed down on his upper chest. "Pinned yah!"

His smile transformed into a positively wicked smirk. "Oh, darlin'," he murmured heatedly, "you can pin me anytime."

She swatted his shoulder, then dove down and buried her face into the cool expanse of his bare chest. "Perv," she muttered embarrassingly. She felt his chest rumble under her cheek as he chuckled.

"You love it," he shot back teasingly.

She didn't doubt it for a second.

She sighed contentedly when he began combing his fingers through her loose mahogany locks. "Alice called," he said after a brief silence and Bella tensed. This was it, the part of the dream where her heart was shattered and she was desperate to wake up.

"Oh?" she forced out, keeping her head down so he couldn't see the grimace on her face.

His hand paused in her hair and trailed down to cup her cheek. He tilted her head up and forced her to meet his eyes as they glowed with amused exasperation. "After seven years of marriage my mate," he smirked as he stressed the word, "can't possibly still be jealous."

"Not jealous," she muttered petulantly, pouting her lips. She was incredibly thankful that her heart could no longer beat, certain it would burst in her chest at the realization that she wasn't just Jasper's wife, but his _mate_. Edward may have sheltered from his vampire side, but she knew what that word meant and the weight that it held. Wives could be divorced, but mates, like diamonds, were _forever_.

Forever in this life? She looked forward to eternity.

"She said Paris is fabulous and promises to be home for the twin's birthday..." he said as she allowed him to pull her up and teasingly nibble her lower lip. "Her new mate in tow," he finished.

Bella jerked back and raised her eyebrows. "Mate?" she repeated dumbly.

"I know," he laughed. "She can't believe it's finally happened either. She's been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever."

She remembers what her Jasper had said – well, not _her_ Jasper – about saying yes for the wrong reasons. Had his and Alice's relationship fallen into that once or twice category? Was it possible that they were simply with each other for the wrong reasons while they waited for the right to come along?

Could it be that _she_ was Jasper's right reason? Out there, in the real world?

"Her right reason," she muttered, unaware she'd spoken out loud.

He chuckled lowly. "It never fails to surprise me that you remember all that little stuff. That's when I knew for sure, you know that?"

"Knew what?"

"That I loved you. I never imagined when I told you that it was up to you to choose, that you would choose me, Bella." He began fiddling with the beautiful, antique ring on her finger, his thumb circling around the modest emerald in the center of it. "Thank you for choosing me, darlin'."

She smiled softly. "Always." Her smile grew when she realized how much she meant those words. She hadn't known it until just this moment, but that moment in the library, she knew she loved him to.

She began lowering her mouth to his for another kiss, pausing when the dream world grew hazy. "No!" she whispered fretfully, clutching tightly to Jasper."I want to stay here!" she begged. "I want to stay with them – with him."

Tears leaked out of her eyes as the scent of him and the sounds of their children's laughter faded and she was once again in her room, her arms wrapped tightly around her pillow.

She never realized how cold and lonely it was before.

She curled in on herself and wept, the tears a mixture of happiness and sorrow. Happy for the amazing future she'd had with Jasper and sad because she knew it was just a dream.

_But does it have to be?_ A voice whispered in the back of her head.

_Choose me, Bella,_ seemed to echo in the room around her.

"I can't," she hissed helplessly to the empty room. "His future is with A –"

Her rant was cut off by the warning beep her phone suddenly gave, signalling that the battery was almost dead. _Oh yeah,_ she thought dazedly, _I left it on all night._

She pushed herself out of bed and shuffled towards her dresser. Glancing down at the flashing battery symbol at the corner of her screen, her eyes, still blurry with sleep, were drawn to the new text message box at the bottom. Bringing the phone up closer to her face, she noted that it was from Alice and the time stamp was 12:35 AM – that must have been the message she got right before she fell asleep.

She frowned. Why would Alice be texting her that late?

She ignored the tremble in her finger as it clicked on the box and brought the new message up seconds before her phone gave one last beep and the screen promptly went black.

All she needed was those few seconds. The message was only two words anyways.

_Sweet dreams._

As she raced through pulling her clothes on, the hope that that message had given her – that somehow Alice knew what was going on and was actually encouraging her – intertwined with sensation of almost delirious certainty, of _rightness_ , spread through her veins, blinding her to the fact that not only she'd put her shirt on inside out but her jeans were the raggediest pair she owned and she forgot to put socks on.

None of that mattered. She knew with certainty her dreams were over.

It was time to make her choice.

Her _right_ choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> Charlene, aka Charley, is in honor of Bella's dad, who frankly, I just liked more. Simple as that.
> 
> Jackson is of course named after the awesome actor who brought Jasper to life and gave me a new vampire to worship... and a new pair to ship!
> 
> In terms of their powers, I kind of approached it as A + B = C, messing around with Jasper empath powers and Bella's shield to see what kind of combinations I could come up with and I'll admit it was a little difficult. Charley's was the easiest, a sort of invisibility or blanket effect (whichever one you prefer) that kind of mirrors Bella's shield, but I got stumped with Jackson and finally decided that, like Jasper can project emotions, his son can project his thoughts and it was only AFTER that I realized, hey, wasn't Renesmee's power like that? I swear it wasn't even in my mind at the time, but meh, I decided to stick with it.
> 
> He doesn't project memories like Renesmee, nor does he read minds like Edward's, he can simply relay his thoughts telepathically. I could see it strengthening in the future to the point where he kind of mirrors Professor X's powers. Well, without the self-righteousness and the warped morals of course.
> 
> Chapter Title for this and Interlude: A THOUSAND YEARS - CHRISTINA PERRI.
> 
> I know this is technically an Edweird/Bella song, but I'm hereby claiming this for all the Jaspella fans out there gosh darnit! We will rule the world yet!


	10. Epilogue: Her Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The last chapter... *blubbers heavily* I can't believe I made it...
> 
> Thank you to all who gave this story a chance, and for the continued support! You guys are what makes life worth living, and this girl keep writing.
> 
> Here's hoping all your dreams come true.

She had told Edward no.

Despite the fact that she had burst through the door looking like a crazy homeless person, it had been surprisingly anti-climatic after that. She could tell he was hurt and possibly slightly insulted that she had refused him, but there was no screaming fits, no demands for why, no 'you'll regret this' type threats. Instead, there had been an almost quite reflection between the two of them and Bella realized at that moment that perhaps she hadn't been the only one having second thoughts.

"It hasn't been the same has it?" Edward asked softly.

Bella didn't have to ask, she knew exactly what day he was referring too. "No, it hasn't," she replied simply.

"Do you think if it would have been different if I hadn't...?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

He frowned lightly. "I thought I'd be more upset," he said, his voice carrying the faintest hint of disbelief. "I mean, yes, I'm upset, but I feel like – " His eyes darted back and forth as he searched for a response.

"It's the right choice?" Bella filled in softly.

He blinked wonderingly. "Yeah," he breathed.

"It might not mean much, but I'm sorry."

"No, Bella," Edward replied, more sincerity in his face and voice then she had ever seen before. " _I'm_ sorry. I put you and my family through hell during those months. I may have thought I was doing the right thing, but you didn't deserve that." He chuckled wryly. "I was a self-righteous little bastard, wasn't I?"

"Yeah," she agreed, nudging his shoulder and grinning slightly. "You kinda were." She shrugged. "And I was kind of co-dependent."

He laughed again. "God, what a pair we are."

She leaned back against the glass window his low bed was pushed against. "Regular odd couple."

"Two wrongs don't make a right, I guess," he sighed, leaning beside her.

Her brows furrowed. "Shouldn't this be harder?" She turned her head to look at him. "Shouldn't we be arguing or something?"

A half-grin tilted his lips."Why? Do you want to?" He elbowed her playfully. "Give everyone downstairs a show?"

"See what I mean?" she replied, gesturing wildly between them. "Everything was always so intense with us in the beginning, why is this so different?"

"Ah," he said, tilting his head in contemplation. "I think you already answered yourself with the 'in the beginning' part. Things change, I suppose." He paused. " _We_ changed."

"I thought you said vampires don't change?"

He stared at her intently. " _You_ changed me, Bella. I needed someone to convince me that I wasn't a monster, and you did that." He reached out for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "And I'll always be grateful for it."

Bella smiled as a happy tear trailed down her cheek.

This didn't feel like an ending, instead it felt like a new _beginning_.

-oo-

They broke the news to the rest of the family together, Bella both surprised and grateful for Edward's involvement. Apparently her fears of him storming off and brooding somewhere for a few hours, while she awkwardly stood around and bared the brunt of the families disappointed stares were unfounded.

The questions she had been expecting from Edward came from them instead as they struggled to make sense of how such a supposedly passionate union had dissolved into an amicable split. Bella had floundered around helplessly for an explanation that didn't begin with, "So I had these dreams, right..." when help came from a surprising source.

"Love," Emmett began thoughtfully, "force it and it disappears. You cannot will love, nor even control it. You can only guide its expression. It comes or it goes according to those qualities in life that invite it or deny its presence."

Seven sets of eyes blinked slowly.

"I'm sorry, what?" Edward sputtered disbelievingly.

"I can be deep. It just comes and goes," Emmett replied, immediately going back to his video game. "Oh and the opposite of congratulations to you two for your non-upcoming nuptials," he included distractedly.

Rose rolled her eyes and Bella laughed, thankful that Emmett's... _Emmett-ness_ , had succeeded in breaking up the tension in the room.

Esme and Carlisle took turns hugging her, ensuring her emphatically that she was still part of the family, marriage or no marriage. Bella had to force herself not to look at Jasper when they said that, secretly hoping that marriage was still in the equation.

Rose stared at her thoughtfully, her face blank. Bella braced herself, certain that she'd be angry that she broke her little brother's heart, but instead she nodded her head minutely and Bella felt something akin to understanding pass between them.

She was engulfed in the petite vampire's embrace seconds later. "You made the right choice," Alice whispered in her ear.

Bella jerked back and stared into Alice's golden eyes.

"Why did... what have you seen?" she whispered back fiercely.

Alice smiled softly. "I've seen the future, Bella." Her eye grew misty as her smile grew. "And it's _beautiful_."

"Are you saying..?" she began hopefully.

Alice cut her off. "Beau–ti–ful," she repeated, punctuating every syllable with a tap to her nose.

Bella's eyes darted nervously around the living room.

"He's upstairs," Alice said helpfully.

She turned teary eyes back to her friend. "Alice, I can't even begin to –"

Alice shook her head. "No thanks needed. No apologies either," she warned playfully.

"And Edward?"

Alice tucked a strand of hair over her ear. "I'll talk to him, he'll understand, don't worry."

She chuckled wryly. "Feels like all I've been doing this past week is worrying."

"Well, it's time to stop," Alice ordered, placing her hands on her shoulders and twisting her until she faced the stairs. "Go get him," she encouraged, nudging gently at her back.

Bella inhaled deeply, squared her shoulders and headed resolutely forward until her feet rested against the bottom step.

She looked up the stairs.

She looked up towards her future.

She turned around and ran.

-oo-

Bella puttered morosely around the kitchen.

She'd been so concerned that she'd burst into the library, fall into his arms and babble about the beautiful children they'd have and he'd just look at her like the crazy lady she felt like, that she took the coward's way out, ignoring Alice's cries to, "Come back!" as she darted out the door.

And even if that hadn't ruined everything, she was certain her running had. The last thing she saw before peeling out of the driveway in her rusty truck was Jasper gazing at her brokenly from the upstairs window.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Bella cursed, kicking at the linoleum floor beneath her feet. She had the chance to lock in that future, Alice had practically served it to her on a silver platter, and now she had messed it all up. I bet I end up all alone no –

**DING DONG ******

Her head jerked towards the front door so quickly she almost gave herself whiplash and she stared at it so long that whoever was on the other side grew impatient, forgoing the bell, and began knocking instead.

"Bella?" The sound of Jasper calling her name out caused her heart to stutter in her chest. "I know you're in there darlin', I can hear your heart beating."

It was the _darlin'_ that got her feet moving, forced into action by the memory of the future that was entwined with the honey accented nickname that rolled off his lips.

She held her breath as her hand curled around knob, knowing that whatever waited on the other side of that door could either make or break her. She exhaled and pulled the door open, unable to stop herself from smiling slightly as she got her first look at the normally cool and collected vampire shifting uncomfortably on her porch.

Her breath hitched when he looked at her, thinly veiled hope shining brightly in his golden gaze. "Can we talk?" he asked softly.

"Only if you're here for the right reasons," she teased, the same emotion reflected in her own eyes.

He smiled and Bella beckoned him forward.

As he walked over the threshold, she heard two clicks.

One was the door closing behind him.

The other was her future locking firmly into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: CHOCOLATE FOR THE WIN BABY!
> 
> It hasn't sunk in yet that I've actually finished my first, more than two chapters, story. The relief of actually finishing something, quickly, I tells you is astounding.
> 
> And writing Edward and Alice nice and supportive, I gotta say, it's incredibly freeing. I hope you enjoyed this version of them, because I surprisingly loved writing them this way! I know it's incredibly different from the way I portrayed him in the Edward dream, but I like to think that Bella standing up and telling him no for once, has changed him for the better.
> 
> I got the feeling from your reviews for the last chapter, that some of you were hoping for more, but the truth is, their future has already been written.
> 
> Thanks again! See you on the next one!... I hope. :)
> 
> *Love force it and it disappears. You cannot will love, nor even control it. You can only guide its expression. It comes or it goes according to those qualities in life that invite it or deny its presence - David Seabury*


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